Amazing, isn’t it. When you have something you know you need to do, you find something more important. It can be something trivial, like making a cup of coffee. Or something like, well writing this blog.
I haven’t blogged much of late, not least because I’ve been writing pieces for various journals and online sites at the request of others. And making the odd video. Not to mention being encouraged to do social media of my own to promote my two novels. Whether my various Instagram posts made the slightest bit of difference to interest in Homeward Bound and I’m Still Standing I have no idea. But I’ll doubtless be back on Instagram videos for the new one
Ah – and that’s been another reason for not blogging. I’ve been completing my third novel. This particular displacement is because I need to write a synopsis for it. Anyone who has ever written anything will known the nightmare that is a synopsis. If it’s taken me 290 (or however many) pages to write a piece that I hope is entertaining, interesting and engaging, then how is it possible to condense it into a single page? But it must be done. Just not at the moment as I’m writing this.
And what inspired me to use this avenue to waste time is I wanted to share a discovery I’ve made. Late, I know, but monumental tome. I’ve discovered AI. Well, ChatGP. It could become a completely new category of displacement activities all of its own! Here’s what kick-started my new obsession.
Take a look at this before image, snapped by me on Easter Sunday walking in Waterlow Park, which is north London and right next to Hampstead Heath.
I sent it to my daughter, and it came back from my son-in-law like this.
It made me laugh. More than that. It made me want to have a go myself. In fact, it became so much of a temptation for me, I wasted no time and began to adulterate other images take on that walk, using the same software that created all the King’s horses and all the King’s men..
I selected this sweet, innocent, springtime image, and imagined something altogether more interesting and ludicrous!
I have to confess to being somewhat troubed by AI. Can you believe anything you see anymore? But this tool can open up the imagination to all manor of things . And timewasting opportunities.
What’s more, maybe I can use AI to write my synopsis? Maybe I’ll look it up in Wikipedia and see it it’s possible.
But not yet. I’ll have a coffee, first.
(But look out for Made For Walking. If I get my synopsis and other necessary stuff done, it’ll be in the bookshops later in the year.)
This is how my iPhone looked before I went to bed. I’d set it for the update it was due, with new features and security measures. Fourteen hours later, it looked the same. Which I why I found myself standing outside the Apple store in Covent Garden. The update had obviously frozen. After searching the interweb on my laptop and trying all the tricks offered for iPhone restoration, I was no further forward. In a blind panic, and after an umpteenth unsuccessful press of every button on the side, I decided to follow the final online suggestion as to what to do. Get help.
It’s only when denied access to something that your complete dependency is revealed. Back in the day, contacts might be on a Filofax, phone numbers in an address book, money in a wallet, time worn on the wrist. To lose them all at once would be impossible. Well, nearly. I once had them all in a briefcase that I inadvertently left in the waiting room of a car showroom. By the time I’d realised, the showroom had closed, but I went back anyway. Through the plate-glass window, I could see it beside the sofa I’d been sitting on. I just prayed it would be safe until morning. Yet, what if cleaners dumped it, or there were burglars, ram-raiders . . . every eventuality played on my mind. I would have camped outside on the pavement had it not been cold and wet. As it was, I was in pole position to retrieve it a good hour before the showroom opened.
And, in truth, being denied access to my phone has happened before. I’d accidentally locked it inside my car. It was a hatchback where the hatch could be unlocked without unlocking the whole car. I was on a farm, taking off my coat and throwing it inside while encircled by a cloud of horseflies. I’m irresistible to biting insects. To stop them swarming into the car – I could imagine them feasting on me as I drove home – I slammed down the back, only to realise that in my haste, the car key and my mobile were in the coat’s pocket. So I know how helpless I am without my iPhone. I was rescued by a friend who waited with me until the AA came to my rescue.
But with my locked iPhone, I was on my own, and facing certain armageddon. It’s a relatively new model, not that you can tell by looking at it. I’d bought a cheap cover years ago that has decayed, to the embarrassment of my two daughters who have tried to shame me into buying a new one – and even to treat me to one as a Fathers’ Day gift. But I looked upon it as a mark of independence and individuality. And anyway, it was stuck to the phone itself and I had no idea how to detach it without also ripping off the back of the phone. Safer to leave it be.
The trouble is, the mobile has become such a a vital part of modern life
The trouble is, the mobile has become such a vital part of modern life that everything seems to centre around it, nothing much functions without it. And all I could think of, as I waited outside the Apple store, was the messages I needed to respond to, let alone the ones I wasn’t expecting and that the senders would be waiting for my response.
I also had appointments later in the day and now I was going to be late for them, and no way of contacting the people I was meeting. Even if I found a red phone box, their numbers were locked behind the frozen screen. They’d be calling me, wondering why I didn’t pick up, or wasn’t calling back. And what if the “big” call came? ‘Richard, your book is wanted for a movie. Are you happy with that? The producers need a response straight away.’ ‘Richard, you need to call me back now.’ ‘Richard, don’t bother. The offer’s gone.’
‘What time do you open?’ I mouthed through the glass doors at a security guard inside the Apple store. He raised both hands, fingers splayed that I interpreted as meaning 10 o’clock. I waved my frozen screen at him to show I had no way of telling what the time was now. He exaggerated a frustrated shrug and opened the door, but instead of telling me the time, pointed at a church tower that, when I leaned forward, I could see had a tower with a clock. 9.40.
Assuming it was accurate, I knew I had twenty more minutes of perdition to endure. A coffee stall across from the church offered me respite and sanctuary with a clear view of time passing. At 9.59, I headed back to the store, arriving just as the doors opened.
By 10.01, my iPhone was restored.
‘All you had to do was press these buttons on the side,’ a young, enthusiastic assistant explained, as the screen sprung back into life.
‘But it didn’t work when I tried it.’
‘It was the protective cover.’ She’d unpeeled it, revealing that it wasn’t stuck to my phone at all. ‘It was stopping the buttons from being pressed properly’
‘I didn’t know that came off like that.’
She nodded sympathetically. ‘Would you like me to put your cover back?’
I shook my head while trying to conceal my embarrassment at being so stupid. But her benign expression was one I’d seen nurses give in care homes as their elderly charges struggle with the simplest of things.
I suppose that’s one advantage of being a senior citizen. At least my stupidity is put down to my age, not just to being plain stupid.
I still haven’t got a new protective cover.
If you liked this blog, Richard’s latest feelgood novel, I’m Still Standing, with music, ’80s nostalgia and a touch of environmentalism is in bookshops and on Amazon now.
I was interviewed by the blogger Ann Cater (‘Random Things Through My Letterbox) on publication of ‘I’m Still Standing’. It was meant to be my life in books, but I side-stepped that and made it into records! Here’s what I said.
Anne: Tell me about your life through records.
Me: You’d expect my blog for My Life in Books, to be about, well, books. Except, while I have read innumerable memorable and remarkable books that meant a lot to me, I struggle to recall that much about them! They leave an impression rather than specific details. Similarly, I can’t follow a season of shows on Netflix and remember what happened in the last episode unless I binge-watch – and even then….
But records? I can name every B side of every 45 I bought as a child and sing through Beatles albums, track by track, occasionally pitch perfect. And each one with a memory. That is why my books are named after songs – Homeward Bound and now I’m Still Standing.
Here is my life in ten records:
My Old Man’s A Dustman – Lonnie Donegan. OK, not a classic that I still play, but this isn’t Desert Island Discs. It was my first ever record. I’d wager that yours was something cheesy too. I still know it off by heart, one the only songs that I can actually sing without tripping over the lyrics. It’s little wonder that I never made it as a rockstar.
Runaway – Del Shannon. The perfect pop song. I think it’s the record that turned me from being a music lover into an addict. It was also the first record I put money into a jukebox to play. I eventually bought everything Del Shannon recorded. Spotify describes him as favouring ‘brooding themes of abandonment, loss, and rejection’. You’ll see a theme developing as we go on.
Won’t Get Fooled Again – The Who. This is a great one to play when you’re feeling angry. It’s exciting, loud and the lyrics visceral. And the tension in the extended instrumental break is almost unbearable, ending in a primal scream!
Jealous – Labrinth. A heartbreak song, but so simple and you can feel his pain. And it’s important as a reminder to me that good tunes didn’t stop in the seventies. This came out in 2014. (And don’t forget, in the sixties, it wasn’t all Beatles. We also had to endure Ken Dodd and Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep!)
Turn On A Friend – Peanut Butter Conspiracy. The lyric has always stuck with me as I believe it to be an impossible suggestion! You can’t turn anybody on to a record, a TV programme or a book. It’s just too embarrassing to try, as tastes differ and invariably what one person likes will leave another cold. Not a comfortable feeling when I’ve a book out that I want people to like! Of course, the song’s probably about drugs (it is from 1967) so perhaps I shouldn’t worry.
Alone Again Or – Love. I hope people don’t see me as miserable, but I do find misery in songs weirdly uplifting. But this one inspires me with lines about people being the greatest fun and how the singer could be in love with almost everyone, and that’s a great way to start any day! But even this one is in a minor key and has a melancholy edge.
Green River – the Everly Brothers. I think my love of music comes through harmony, and the Everly’s were the best. I could pick any from their thirty-year catalogue of recordings but nominate this later one as it’s about longing and nostalgia, more themes I love. I can almost feel the heat and smell wide-open plains as they sing. I spin this regularly, even though it’s from 1972.
Homeward Bound – Simon and Garfunkel. Harmonies and lyrics again. Paul Simon was influenced by the Everlys (they sing on Graceland) and his wistful, reflective, thoughtful lyrics bear frequent replays. Homeward Bound is especially important to me as it features in my first novel – they share the same title.
I’m Still Standing – Elton John. If I were a musician, I’d be jealous of Elton John. He’s not only a great songwriter, but also has an incredible voice and can make a piano rock! Of his up-tempo songs, I’ve picked this not just for its survival against-the-odds lyrics (and I really didn’t realise until compiling this list that so many of my choices are about betrayal, disappointment and inner strength), but because it’s the title of my new novel and why I’m writing this blog!
I’m Still Standing is available at bookshops and on Amazon
Here’s what people are writing about I’m Still Standing, taken from their Instagram accounts. My thanks to them for the positive things they’re saying.
A heart-warming story of a reluctant and unlikely friendship between a pair of misfits,
Richard Smith takes us back to the 80s as we follow Harry and Jill, a pair of misfits brought together as they work to save a local green space. Interwoven with the narrative is their shared love of music.
The author’s background in cinema comes through in his writing, as I could visualise each scene in my mind (Simon Pegg would make a great Harry!) and the music references provided the soundtrack. I really felt as though I was back in the late 80s, alongside the characters.
A moving story about finding passion in life and love with a music theme recommended for fans of Nick Hornby (High Fidelity, Juliet Naked) and Daisy Jones and the Six.
I’m Still Standing was launched with a series of videos. They were uploaded to TikTok, where the range of music is vast and free of copyright, so were set to big songs. It’s different here, so courtesy of Pixabay Music, here they are again, for non-TikTokers and with different (copyright free) music.
Sometimes it’s tough getting started!
Sometimes a good thing is too good to have to wait for…
And at last, it’s out! #ImStillStanding #NetGalley
I’m writing this on the so-called fifth day of Christmas. When my true love is supposed to be giving me five gold rings. Which, according to a quick search on Google, are supposed to represent the first five books of the Bible’s Old Testament. Apparently, the whole song was a secret code for Catholics when Catholicism was banned back in the day. So the first day of a Partridge in a Pear Tree represents Jesus, the two turtle doves on the second are the Old and New Testaments, up to the twelve drummers drumming, who represent the twelve points of the apostle’s creed. It makes Wink Martindale’s Deck of Cards seem almost plausible! (A song from the sixties, if you don’t know it! Made the top ten, too, which seems even less plausible! May Bygraves did a version in the UK, too.)
It’s bad enough finishing off the leftover turkey or nut roast, the bread sauce and the cranberry, not to mention the mountain of cheese that was bought in a frenzy the week before and sits untouched in the fridge. Why wait for the tree to droop, the decorations sag and the batteries in the twinkly lights die?
When Christmas is over, clear the halls of decking (to misquote a carol)! And that doesn’t mean some time in January.
Using the twelve days as a marker for keeping up the decorations is a step too far for me. Tradition has them in place until twelfth night, and that it’s bad luck to leave them up for longer. Even worse would be to follow a tradition from Medieval times that has them left until the 2nd of February. None of this works, to my mind. Christmas Day and – at a push -Boxing Day are enough.
I should say that, in principle, I love the jollity and happiness around Christmas – and I’m really very sorry for anyone reading this who was unable to enjoy it for personal reasons. But it seems to me that the celebrations should surely be the day itself – and before that, the fun of expectation and anticipation.
I used to bemoan the first decorations appearing in shops during October, with Slade blaring out not long after. I’ve since come to appreciate how they signal the approach of the joy and excitement that is the Christmas spirit. It’s all about looking forward with hope and positivity – buying the tree, putting up the decorations, searching for presents that delight, preparing for the big day.
I often used to miss out on the excitement – it’s amazing how people create artificial deadlines for just before Christmas, tying you to work, even though nothing then happened for a month or more. And there can be a load of hassle in getting organised and setting up. But despite the frenzy, it’s worth trying to take some time before the day. This is when the carols are sung, trees still smell of pine and their needles haven’t dropped, all the bulbs in the light strings are working and the batteries haven’t run out, and everyone is wishing you a ‘Merry Christmas’. The atmosphere is bright and positive. A magical time to dream of something special.
Afterwards? It’s all as stale as the rotting Roquefort, untouched, alongside the Christmas ale still chilling and the brandy cream that was never used as everyone was too stuffed to eat the Christmas pudding.
And what a sad sight is the lights still illuminating empty streets, beaming to no-one, the party well and truly over.
Thoughts now are not on what to buy but where to put the stuff you’ve been given, what to keep, what to return or give away, and trying to eat everything before it passes its best-before date. And on going back to work, things left unfinished, new tasks, new projects.
Yet in the corner of the living room stands a sad, bedraggled tree, branches sagging, lights rarely switched on, reminding you that Christmas is over, baiting you of the things you’d hoped for that disappointed.
Of course, getting rid is interrupted by the second celebration, New Year. So invariably I resist stripping out the decorations until January. But come the 1st, I’m ready to begin. Except, while you’d think I’d relish the moment, there’s a catch. I hate taking down the decorations! It’s as tedious as it is depressing. As I’m winding the lights from the tree, with needles dropping everywhere, I find myself asking what were we doing bringing it into the house in the first place. Or why we covered it in such fragile and absurd decorations.
Worse, the very act of denuding it, heaping the baubles, angels and stars into boxes and to the back of the cupboard until next year is like abandoning the joy, happiness and goodwill they represented.
And the forlorn trees dumped on street corners are a poignant reminder of the anticipation, now replaced by the reality of the present.
Yet the longer it all remains in the house, the sadder it becomes. So my philosophy is to keep on moving forward – enjoy the build-up, make the most of the holidays, then make the removal quick and early.
And anyway, it’s not long to Easter!
If you enjoyed reading this, why not try Richard’s novel, Homeward Bound, still available in paperback and Kindle and from bookshops.
And his second, I’m Still Standing, is out in the spring. Look out for it!
“I’m now going to play some songs from my new album.”
It’s the expression that strikes fear into every concert-goer. We want the hits, the songs we know. Why do they do it? Why do we go?
Why do people go to gigs and then spend half the time talking or at the bar?
Why do musicians spend months recording, using the best facilities, mixing on giant studio speakers, only for people to listen on a squawking Alexa speaker or on ear buds as background noise to the sound of a train?
These and other issues will be my blog for the days leading up to publication of my novel, Homeward Bound, about two people divided by time and music.
Tara is eighteen. She’s a musician, about to start uni and hoping for her lucky break. George is seventy-nine. As Tara’s grandfather, he’s expected to be in retirement but in truth, he’s not quite ready to close the lid on his dreams.
When he finds himself on a tour of retirement homes instead of the cream tea at the seaside his family had promised, it seems his story might prematurely be over.
He finds an answer by inviting Tara to share his house, along with his memories and vast collection of vinyl records. He thinks he can teach her about music. She just wants to get on with her own life.
What unfolds are clashes and unlikely parallels between generations – neither knows how to work a dishwasher – as they both chase their ambitions. But when the past catches up with George, Tara has to make the same life-changing decisions her grand-father faced six decades before.
It’s published by Matador in paperback, RRP £10.99, and on Kindle ISBN: 9781838591595 online as well as all good bookshops.
What people are saying about it
Blogger What Rebecca’s Read ‘Homeward Bound is a funny, feel-good read that I’d highly recommend.’
Helen Tovey (Family Tree): ‘Blurbed as a story telling of the ‘clashes and unlikely parallels between the generations’ this novel caught my eye, and what unfolded was a poignant, very believable story, laced with reminiscences (particularly if you’re a music lover you’ll enjoy the references), twists in the plot, and loveable and interesting key characters in Gramps and granddaughter Tara. An enjoyable read that reminds us of the passing of time and the value of family.’
Selection of initial comments from Amazon, Waterstones and Goodreads
I really enjoyed this book. Although it will clearly appeal to music fans of my generation (over 65) who will appreciate the way Richard skillfully weaved the many music references into the story, the book will appeal to younger readers too. The central premise that young people should take every opportunity to follow their dreams is very poignant. It wouldn’t take much to turn this book into a film script.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★ It was amazing Fun interesting warmly written book really enjoyed it and love the fact that there is also a Spotify playlist of all the music references available on the author’s website
Once you have started reading this book it’s hard to put down. It’s an excellent first novel with some great music references and some important messages- not least , the close relationship between two people from very different generations who have a lot more in common than they might think and the importance of having a purpose in life and taking a few risks to follow your dreams. Looking forward to the next one !
When I started to read this book I didn’t really know what to expect but I very quickly became immersed in the narrative of two people united in their love for music. You get no spoilers from me but needless to say the characters are likeable and their journey is both fascinating and poignant. Highly recommend you invest some time with this novel, you won’t regret it!
This book is a lot of fun – I read it in two days, finding it hard to put down. Richard Smith’s dialogue is fantastic! It’s a family drama, but will be especially good for anyone who loves music as they are sure to enjoy the parallel experiences a grandfather and his granddaughter adjust to the next stage of their lives. If you enjoyed “Elizabeth is Missing” or “The 100 year old man who climbed out the window and disappeared” then you’ll like this. Humane, witty, super-readable, enjoy.
What a wonderful first novel. The main character George is a loveable chap and his relationship with his granddaughter is heartwarming. Great read, looking forward to reading more from Richard Smith.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Music lovers, enjoy! Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 25 February 2020Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase A wonderful book which took the reader on a special journey. A simple but well written story line with a musical treasure trove of memories. Couldn’t put it down.
I got this book as a gift and found it really enjoyable and hard to put down. It’s a story of music, relationships, dreams and realities. The author managed to bring the characters to life in a way that had me totally invested – I was really annoyed by one character’s actions, which to me is a sign of a well-written book. I really enjoyed the musical references too; some I recognised from my parent’s era, some were current that I knew and some I looked up on the book’s Spotify (available from author’s blog page) which brought the story to life further! I’d definitely recommend it and think it could also be a good one for book groups too – lots to discuss
This is such an enjoyable read . The main characters are warm and believable. You feel for George and Tara and want them to be happy . The book is full of musical memories which was an added enjoyment . Overall a book about love and family and well worth reading . I am sure to read it again , I enjoyed it so much .
Heart-warming but not sentimental story dealing with the issues of older age and inter-family relationships particularly that of a teenage girl and her grandfather. It is told with a wry sense of humour. Also great for people who love music as lots of references to familiar songs but all within the context of a well developed storyline. Made me dig out my old record collection and reflect on the power of music in life; and how complex and interesting family relationship are.
